Inside- Out

(Approximate reading time: 5-7 minutes, around 700 words)

I remember how often I had conversations regarding to characters of people. I don’t really know that much, just basic things such as introvert- extrovert: phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric, and sanguine.

Here’s a brief explanation about these four before I go on:

· Introvert: the ones who love to be with themselves, not too sociable but they are more comfortable with small groups. The introverts got their energy by enjoying their own time. Then, the introverts could be divided into two other types:

o Phlegmatic: the ones who care less about things, insensitive

o Melancholic: the ones who keep things to themselves, usually think too much and very sensitive

· Extrovert: the ones who love to be with others, very sociable. They get their energy by socializing and they love to be in the crowd. It could be divided into two other types:

o Choleric: the leaders, anyone who love to lead and organize things.

o Sanguine: the center of attention, the jokers. They talk more and usually very cheerful.

Human usually do not only have one particular type, like purely phlegmatic, or purely melancholic. We have these mixtures between all of these types. For instance we could be more to extrovert, but there are times when we would like to be alone, right? Vice versa. It’s just the matter of more of which.

Me? Oh, I am more into introvert. I keep things to myself, and to my observances, introvert people love to write. We usually don’t talk much to others but we keep the conversation and thoughts to ourselves. So I ran a test in my high school, and the result is I am (1) phlegmatic, (2) choleric, and (3) melancholic. It occurs that these three are really tight that they only differed by one point each. However, one thing for sure: I am not sanguine.

I remember that once in few years ago, I had a conversation with one friend. He is rather melancholic, I could tell, and maybe choleric (I am not really sure about the second one). Anyway, he is a melancholic that I could sense it in that conversation. It was so nice talking to him because he actually had so much in mind. So I told my other friends that he was so melancholic and so sensitive and had such a lot of things on his head. I never meant to put that into some kind of disrespect or something. Never. However, my friends laughed and I was so confused why, but (blame on me) I never asked them why and never really fixed things up. Yet after that time, I never really spoke to him again. Maybe it was because he heard what I told my friends about him and he felt humiliated, I don’t know.

So here’s the thing: I don’t think that one type is better than another. I don’t think that being a sanguine, the center of the attention, the cheerful one, is better than being a melancholic. No, I don’t mean that. I adore melancholic people, as I adore choleric, phlegmatic, and sanguine people. I read several great books that I believe the authors are melancholic, such as Paulo Coelho and Mitch Albom. They wrote amazingly and stunningly because they think about life deeply. I adore the choleric as they have their natural leaders inside, also with phlegmatic and sanguine, with their own uniqueness.

The second thing I would like to emphasize is that the essence of each type would change over time, along with our circumstances and how we grow along with them. When I was small, I was so choleric. I was the leader of the class and many organizations. However, it changed over time. When I was high school, I was rather melancholic, but still choleric. And honestly, I hated myself for that. I thought, “Ah, it would be so nice if I could be sanguine. Everyone would love me and I could befriend with everyone.” And as I grow up, now I am more to be phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic. The difference is now that I appreciate each of the character and their own uniqueness, I appreciate myself more, and as I appreciate myself more, I could learn how to increase my own value. For example, I am not sanguine, but I could learn how to be one cheerful and nice person toward others, without really changing my own uniqueness. By being a choleric I could lead. By being a melancholic, I could write blogs and be a listener. By being a phlegmatic I could me all of the above as I wish, without worrying about what people think.

And lastly, I am totally agreed with the saying: ‘The more we understand ourselves, the more we understand others.’ As I understand myself, I could understand people. I could respect people when they are quite, as when they are cheerful. I could respect my friends when they talk more, as they talk less; as they read books or as they tell stories.

Many times, I give my friends advice: love yourself, if you can’t love yourself, change things you cannot love. If you cannot change them, love them, because it is the only thing you could do.

With love and hugs,

Jill Bobby